I named this column “The Scarlet Letter” to bring focus to the insensitivity and outright rudeness one will encounter when having an Autistic child. I sometimes feel that my son Caleb should wear a Scarlet A on his chest so people will stop asking what is wrong with him when he looks away and won’t make eye contact. Maybe having this letter will stop the nasty comments muttered under the breath of people witnessing a meltdown. On a serious note parents with Autistic children have many obstacles because our children look normal they just don’t act that way. This leads to all kinds of judgments and stares allowing for no compassion. Imagine a mother with a 3 year old Downs Syndrome child who is not speaking and only grunting in the grocery store. Would the other customers look on and say “what is wrong with him?” or show compassion because the child has a visible disability?

I can deal with my son and his disorder but it is harder to deal with all the opinions or comments from people who know nothing about Autism. You will have people ask “what is wrong with your child?” because he makes animal noises instead of talks at the age of 3. Then you have the people who will tell you that your child will just one day talk in complete sentences and never shut up. Now the most annoying group are the ones who scold you saying you are spoiling the child and not making him ask for what he needs. I even had one man suggest that I do not give my son anything to eat or drink until he asks for it!

You would think with all the media attention Autism has received in recent years there would be greater awareness but that is not the case. When talking with a friend explaining Caleb’s recent diagnosis another person joined into the conversation asking “what is Autism?” Before I could explain my friend answered “you know, the Rain Man”. I was in shock, speechless and hurt. I do not have a crystal ball and since Autism is a spectrum disorder no one can tell me what the end result will be. All I know is I am not giving up on my son and will not settle for a “Rain Man” attitude otherwise any hope or chance my son has to be “normal” will be lost.

A diagnosis of Autism is not the worst thing that can happen to your family but it is life changing and a stress on any marriage. You will have moments of sorrow, moments of joy and moments of frustration. Allow yourself to go through these emotions and grow. Never give up on your child because he/she will constantly amaze you.

© Racquel Morris